SpiderWomanKnits

FO: Quynn 2

Quynn 2 flew off the needles this afternoon just in time for school pick up and 84 degree weather. The knitter in me is so ready for Autumn. 

By modifying the garter brim on this hat you get such a different look. I'll be playing with that even more. 

Besides being a super willing and adorable knitwear model, Simonne just finished her very first week of school and she lost her first tooth! I wrote a little bit about my feelings on losing baby teeth years ago when Jorn started. If you're interested here is the post. I still feel strongly that this is such an interesting developmental time that goes beyond just the physicality of it. 

And, as usual, Quynn 2 project details, more pics and my mods can be found on Ravelry. I wish everyone a lovely weekend! xo Spidey

PS. find me on Instagram as spiderwomanknits 

these woods

{through fields with barns}

{into the deep}

{on top of the world}

I've been more active lately, physically. It's sort of funny to say that considering the fact that I have three small children, a good deal of animals and three large gardens. Farm, garden and family always keep me moving but at a pace I can never quite determine for myself. For one reason or another it's taken me some time to really decide to carve out some peaceful time for my self, time when I can move as fast or as slow as I'd like or not even move at all.

One of my greatest joys this summer has been getting familiar with and hiking the trails right behind my house. Only once have I brought my phone along to take some images of what I have grown to deeply appreciate, desire and now, treasure. I wanted to share a few of my deep breaths with you. Vermont is so beautiful, a perfect balance between the wild and the tamed. The trails I hike are a mixture of those two elements. That's just where I am at right now, lingering somewhere in between the wild and the tamed. 

{blue jay and the sky}

{goldenrod's reminder to savor the summer}

i'm back and feeling better than ever

{lots and lots of laughter, margaritas, great food, crafting, bananagram-ing, jelly beans, girl talk, sleeping, antiquing, strolling and even some goat cheese making}

Oh my gosh, my weekend was amazing! Really, I am still on Cloud 9. To say I needed this time would be an understatement and to say that the time I spent with my friends was just what I needed would also be an understatement. It was so much more than that. I just love these women so much, I feel blessed to call them friends and that my kids call their kids friends and that our husbands all made this trip possible.

The trip was months in the making and I honestly don't think a single one of us let out a breath until we were all in the car and on our way. The week before there was lots of sickness, some pretty crappy weather and anyone who has a family knows the 1,000,000 little things that could possible crop up that would keep a mama at home. So, even as the days approached and we started figuring out who was driving, who was bringing what food, what crafty projects we'd bring along and how long we'd actually let each other sleep it didn't really feel 'real' until we sunk into those bucket seats of my friends Alexa's and Michelle's cars and hit the road. (By the way, it turns out that none of us could really sleep in, years of motherhood have really re-programmed our bodies.)

But man, oh, man. I don't think there was even five minutes of 'decompression time'! As soon as we hit that road it was our road. And that made the weekend spectacular. My friend's are all blogless, so no linking, but they are all amazingly talented, sweet, funny, honest and stupendous mama's so I wish you could peek into their lives a bit.

The photos are all mine but that cheese in the making and margarita credit goes to Amy who made some goat cheese for us to snack on and served up margaritas (thank you!) during our games of Bananagrams, which I am now addicted to (the Bananagrams not the margaritas, don't worry).  Laura is responsible for that beautiful cupcake which I took over 35 pictures of. She is also a very talented quilter and a local bib maker extraordinaire. If your baby is wearing a handmade, quilted bib in our area (and even other areas) chances are she made it. I keep singing the praises of Etsy to Laura but honestly her bibs and quilts sell just about as fast as she can make them so the best place to check out her stuff is on her Facebook page. Alexa takes the credit for the fajitas in the making. Eventhough I can't take a picture of it Michelle has to take the credit (although I know she won't) for keeping us all grounded in a way that is immensely comforting, perhaps even more than she can know. And we are all collectively responsible for the unreasonable amount of jelly beans that were consumed over the course of two days.

These women all make me a better person and a better mom and it was a huge gift to get to spend this type of uninterrupted time together. We are already talking about doing it again.

On a totally different note, I am completely back-blogged (?) when it comes to my knitting posts! I am so excited to share them. I hope soon. In the meantime, it's starting to get spring-y around here and for me that means chicks! Over the next few months people start and add to their chicken flocks. If you are thinking about doing either make sure you check out the link in my sidebar (top right) which will take you to my Brooding 101 post that covers all the basics you need to know if you are thinking of keeping chickens. I hope you find it helpful!

15 Minutes Before Jorn's Guitar Lesson

Some side notes (honestly no pun intended)

Simonne wears her Kimba Hat all the time. All. the. time.

She also thinks that we are supposed to be in every catalog that arrives at our house since 99% of my non bill mail is knitting related and there are Berroco Remix ads in most of them somewhere. In that top picture she's looking for one of us in a holiday catalog that arrived today :)

Jorn loves playing the guitar.

and

I'm still not so great at using the self timer.

A few seconds after we snapped these frames we had to rush out the door to get to Jorn's lesson. The light in the living room was so nice today after a few gray days here in Vermont and that light is a precious commodity in the Northeast during these darker months. I really thought that we didn't have any time to take some pictures before we left for the lesson. We had just arrived home from picking up Jorn at school and were only stopping in to get a snack and his guitar but I got the camera out anyway. It took maybe three minutes to take these shots then we quickly packed up and left.

While Jorn has his 1/2 hour lesson each week Simonne, Vaughn and I hit the local health food store and the Goodwill which are just right across the street. Sometimes I cram a few other errands into that precious time and it's typically a hectic afternoon of rushing around with three kids in tow. These pictures seem so calm to me though looking at them now, not necessarily a true representation of how I was feeling this afternoon. But they are a true representation of a choice we made to claim this bit of time as our own.

It's getting to be that busy-holiday time of the year already and looking at these pictures is a reminder for me to make sure that we pause and just relax for a minute. Even if it seems like we don't have the time, we'll make it.

i am one year older but so much wiser

{The only picture I took this weekend}

This weekend we celebrated my 33rd birthday. It might have been one of the most pivotal birthdays in my life so far, second only to my 25th which I celebrated just days before Jorn's birth, becoming a mother for the first time. This year my birthday was marked by death. Everyone in my family is ok. Let out a deep breath and don't worry. But, for the first time, we processed our own chickens that we raised over the past few months for meat. We had raised a small batch of meat birds before but had sent them out to a butcher to be slaughtered. This time, through serendipitous alignment we were able to bring a few of our birds to a friends house who were culling some hens from their flock and were willing to walk us through the process of slaughtering, plucking and dressing the birds. Not your typical birthday celebration but one that I am perhaps the most grateful for. On Thursday we brought five birds along to our friends and worked side by side, learning step by step. On Sunday Greg and I processed the remaining 9 birds we had together.

Let me just say that you can't overvalue the ethical treatment of animals raised for food, both in their life and in their death. It may seem preposterous, contradictory and hypocritical to use the word ethical in the same sentence as death. And that is true. There is no way around that argument. But being able to handle animals respectfully at the time of their death, when they are raised for that purpose, is humbling, difficult, and draining. In the past I have been around much death. My family owns a funeral home, which I spent a great deal of time in as a child growing up. I have been involved in hunts and handled kills. And of course, I have been an omnivore my entire life so through the consumption of meat I have been responsible for many, many deaths. But this was the first time I had raised domesticated animals, nurtured them each day, tended to their needs, built a home for them and then, in the end, took their life. It is not easy.

Without being overly dramatic, I feel like a different person. In some ways I feel greatly empowered, not at all by the ability to kill but, by the one step further my family has taken away from mass production of food and dependency on corporate production of perhaps the most important products we can ever consume. What we put into our bodies, to the greatest of our economic abilities, should not be a compromise.

There is also no way or reason to romanticize this aspect of farming, there just isn't. The feeling that you get from filling a freezer with meat birds isn't even remotely close to the feeling of filling a pantry with jams, pickles and canned goods.

Raising animals for consumption is certainly not for everyone and there is so much debate about whether not animals should be raised for food at all. I can't say that I have any clarity on that after my experiences this weekend, perhaps I am even more conflicted than ever. I can say that should we chose to raise birds again, we will process them ourselves.

For my birthday on Saturday, Greg cooked a delicious curry using two of the chickens that we had processed on Thursday with our friends. It was probably the most fulfilling meal I had ever eaten. I was so thankful.

on this day last year

{one of my favorite 'newborn' pictures of Vaughn}

On this day, last year, we were driving up bumpy roads trying to induce labor. I was two weeks overdue with my third child. Two days later he was born. That last post before Vaughn was born was so appropriately titled though, 'Bumpy Roads'. My pregnancy with him was the longest, bumpiest road ever. Shortly after we found out we were expecting (surprise!) Greg lost his job. Not long after that I got really sick and had to be rushed to the ER. They sent me home with some laxatives and a diagnosis of 'constipation'. Guess what it was? My appendix had ruptured! But it would be two more months, living with excruciating pain, before it was diagnosed and removed. Luckily it had abscessed to stop the infection from spreading. But the pain didn't even match my worry and concern for my unborn child. I was SO frightened. I don't think I let out a single breath until he was born. I didn't see how such a fragile being could survive let alone thrive in such conditions of physical and emotional stress. It was a tough year.

I haven't talked about it here but we almost lost it all. The house, the farm. We did lose our car. Some friends and some family. My pregnancies with Jorn and Simonne were filled with introspection and joy. My pregnancy with Vaughn was a blur of sickness and worry.

But then he came. So tiny, so perfect, so loud (he has the loudest cry that is more scream than cry) and with him all the worry and the sadness melted away for all of us. We picked ourselves up and kept on going. Looking back it's amazing to see where we are now. There is so much happiness, joy, vitality and productivity it's hard to believe only a year has passed.

But a year it has been, or will be, on the 30th. We are getting ready to celebrate Vaughn's first birthday with family on Saturday. And we have so much to celebrate! Things are good. Vaughn is amazing! Truly wise (he knows about this world), an amazing sense of humor for a 1 year old, so lighthearted and fun to be around and has a dimple filled smile that crushes the ladies already. So, I'll be a bit quiet here until next week as there is much to be done. His birthday crown is made but I have a handmade gift I want to complete which is a bit out of my comfort and skill zone so we'll see. Cross your fingers for me!

Until then, I just want to say thank you. Greg and I were talking about how much has changed for us over the past year. We don't want to saddle Vaughn with any of the circumstances that led up to and surrounded his birth but it's hard not to think of it as a marker for real change in our family. This blog has been a place for me to retreat and look at things through a positive eye during that time. Your comments and emails mean so very much and over the past year have brought me so much comfort and joy. The connections we make here, while at times surreal, are real and meaningful. Some of you were reading when we celebrated Vaughn's birth last year and some of you are new to this space (welcome!). I have had the chance to meet some of you in person over the past year and furthered some friendships by email and even snail mail! I deeply appreciate everything that writing this blog brings, including you! I wish I could have you all over for a slice of cake to celebrate with us!

So now, let the partying begin! See you next week!

oooxxx,

Spidey

{that smile stops me in my tracks no matter what!}

what will i be?

Last summer we found an incredible lot of vintage books at an estate sale. Would you believe that we are just now getting around to looking through them? Awful, I know, but there is no shortage of vintage to ponder in our house and sometimes things sit for a while before we get to them.

Jorn and I were reading through this book last night. At first I was just drawn to the illustrations. Greg and I don't ever ask the kids what they want to be when they grow up, I kind of really dislike the question. The kids do a great job of offering that information on their own, they never need to be asked. It's fun to imagine yourself in different roles, or in this case professions, and imagine what a life like that might be like. Jorn really enjoyed reading the book and it was exciting to identify the "professions" that I have held or hold. His eyes really lit up when we got to Farmer and Homemaker, he had never thought of being 'mommy' as a profession! We were happily surprised to encounter Ice Cream Maker too (see that mom and dad, it was a profession!). And, just before I got pregnant with Jorn I had taken and passed the NY State Trooper exam. I was on my way to Police Academy when I found out that I was pregnant so I decided not to go forward with it which is a really good thing in retrospect for obvious reasons, but my intention was to be a Mounted Trooper in the state park system.

What was really interesting was the lack of Greg's jobs. There was no IT consultant, project manager or anything or the sort and since college that is the (professional) world that Greg has basically dwelt in. I found myself wondering how this book would look if it was written now. Do they even write books like this for kids anymore? Maybe these would take some of the places...

A: App developer

B: Blogger

I: IT manager

N: Nanotechnologist

W: Web developer

Later, I found my childhood memory book that my mom had given to me a few years ago. In the book it asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I answered, 'homemaker' and 'the first female player on an all male polo team'. I got the first one down pat and the latter is kind of like being a Mounted State Trooper, right?  So there you go.

So, what did you want to be when you grew up? Are you that? Do you wish you were if you weren't? Do you think 'professions' are a thing of the past? Are you grown up yet? ;) Do tell.

dreaming

{photo credits on flickr}

As we wake up from that winter slumber so many dreams start to emerge as well. Sometimes I just look out into our field and the mirage of an Airstream appears. I can't think of better accommodations for guests or a way to travel with a big family than in a giant silver pod.

Dreams are so important. So much of what we have, our home, our cars, our chickens, this life we have started out as a seemingly unattainable dream, something far off in the distance very out of our reach either financially or just because of where we were at in our lives. 'Unrealistic', 'pipe dream', 'silly', 'impractical' these are all words that people use to deflate their dreams. We don't use any of these words in our house. 

I believe that the thoughts we have about something can truly manifest themselves into reality. I also believe there is a huge difference between wanting something and dreaming about something. 'Wanting' something leaves you empty, 'wanting' takes the place of action, when you want something that is all you are doing you are wanting it. Dreams are the foundation of plans, you know this because when you really start to dream about something you can feel that powerful feeling inside of you that supports your desire. In contrast when you want something you only feel that insatiable feeling. You know?  That is how I feel. As a family we limit the things we want and are aware that the things we 'want' are often impulsive and fleeting, if we remove the image of that thing usually the want goes right away with it. Dreams leave a residue on you that you just can't shake no matter what.

So we dream about the big things, like our family working side by side and on our own terms. About horses in the field and more alpacas. About growing popcorn and pole beans. About Greg writing more books. About an Airstream in the field so we always have room for whoever wants to come by since we've gone and filled up all of the bedrooms in our house with babies! And those things we dream about uplift us, excite us and inspire us to do things to make those dreams reality. 

Sometimes it's really hard to share your dreams but I'd love to hear about what dreams are emerging in you and what you are doing to make your dreams happen if you care to share.

oooxxx and have a lovely weekend,

Spidey

i just realized two things

1.) I can't remember the last time my body woke up all on its own.

Since Jorn was born, 7 years and 4 months ago (and actually a bit before since late pregnancy has a way of keeping you up in preparation for a newborn) I haven't gone to bed, slept and then woke up when my body felt sleep had fully quenched the thirst of fatigue. I'm not complaining but it's pretty remarkable if you think about it. That's a long time. It can't be good for you either.

2.) If you surround yourself with lovely things, even your messes will be pretty.

I was busying myself with tidying up our dining room which houses most of the vintage for my shop on it's way to be listed and my only reason in doing so was so that I could use the table. But all of the things in that pile were truly lovely and so they were really fine just being there as is. I like that. 

Only 5

Yesterday, Emily asked me if I could only own five books for the rest of my life, what would they be? When I first read the question I thought, 'I better think about this.' but then I decided that I would just react to the question and see what came out. I knew right away.

My number one book would be Primitive Wilderness Living & Survival Skills: Naked into the Wilderness by John and Gerri McPherson. This book assumes that you have nothing on hand and I mean nothing. Not even a knife. You won't learn how to preserve or garden or anything like that. But you will learn how to, like the title says, walk into the woods completely naked and survive. The pictures are perfect, clear and really informative. So often there are just line drawings in books like this, but not this one. I like that they are a married couple too. So many survival books are really authored for men but this book really shows that a woman is capable of 'surviving' too. That brings up my first critique of the book though. They really should have included a chapter on how to survive in the wilderness with your spouse and not kill each other ;) And, also, my copy is a few years old but it is my second copy. The binding on this book is weak in my opinion for a how-to book that might see a lot of dirt time. My first book fell to pieces. Seriously though these are skills that everyone should have a basic understanding of how to implement.  If poop hits the fan you should have this book, if you have kids these are fun skills to practice and it's a perfect book if you really want deepen your relationship with nature. Warning! It's not for the faint of heart. They show you how to skin animals and tan their hide (both of which I have done using this book successfully), set traps, hunt primitively etc.

My second book would be Greg's first novel! Of course! Fractured Veil. Greg is a writer, not as a profession (yet) but that is what he is. He worked on this novel for a few years after Jorn was born, at night. He is going to be frustrated with me for linking to it because he is 'done' with it. But I am not. I am so proud of his book and it's a great read too. Speculative science fiction would be the genre if you tried to categorize it. For obvious reasons I would need to have this book with me.

My third book would be Summerhill: A Radical Approach to Child Rearing by A.S. Neill. It's a crime that this book is out of print. This book really formed me as a parent and as a person actually. I first read it in college and have re-read it with every child and at other points in my life. It is, as the cover says, radical but Neill's approach to raising children is by far the most child centered, matter of fact and common sense approach I have encountered. The book is actually about the school he started called Summerhill but through the description of how the school is run you get all the guidance you could need about child rearing. Luckily, this book is somewhat easy to find in used bookshops. So, I always buy a copy when I see it and give it away to first time mama's to be.

My fourth book is One Piece Knits that Fit by Margaret Huber. I know I have mentioned this book before and I have to say that while I have a pretty decent knitting library this book is never on that shelf. Never. Because it is always by my side. It's tattered, the dust jacket is long gone but it is my knitting bible. This book gives you recipes so that you can knit (or crochet) a sweater for anyone 6 months-100 years old with any weight yarn either top down, bottom up or side to side. Seriously. It's kind of like Ann Budd's The Knitter's Handy Book of Sweater Patterns but far better, imho. Don't expect to be inspired by pictures though. This book has been out of print for decades so the models are out of date and hilariously styled! But if you want to be able to just pick a yarn from your stash and knit a sweater at a moments notice without doing any math this is the book for you.I have knit sweaters for practically every gauge and size range and the proportions are perfect! This is just a workhorse of a knitting book that I couldn't be without.

My last book is a real cheat of an answer but I would have to say that as long as I had any novel by Nikos Kazantzakis by my side I'd be happy. It really wouldn't matter which one. Gosh, his writing just hits that chord in me like only a favorite author can. You know?

So, what would your five be?