on this day last year

{one of my favorite 'newborn' pictures of Vaughn}

On this day, last year, we were driving up bumpy roads trying to induce labor. I was two weeks overdue with my third child. Two days later he was born. That last post before Vaughn was born was so appropriately titled though, 'Bumpy Roads'. My pregnancy with him was the longest, bumpiest road ever. Shortly after we found out we were expecting (surprise!) Greg lost his job. Not long after that I got really sick and had to be rushed to the ER. They sent me home with some laxatives and a diagnosis of 'constipation'. Guess what it was? My appendix had ruptured! But it would be two more months, living with excruciating pain, before it was diagnosed and removed. Luckily it had abscessed to stop the infection from spreading. But the pain didn't even match my worry and concern for my unborn child. I was SO frightened. I don't think I let out a single breath until he was born. I didn't see how such a fragile being could survive let alone thrive in such conditions of physical and emotional stress. It was a tough year.

I haven't talked about it here but we almost lost it all. The house, the farm. We did lose our car. Some friends and some family. My pregnancies with Jorn and Simonne were filled with introspection and joy. My pregnancy with Vaughn was a blur of sickness and worry.

But then he came. So tiny, so perfect, so loud (he has the loudest cry that is more scream than cry) and with him all the worry and the sadness melted away for all of us. We picked ourselves up and kept on going. Looking back it's amazing to see where we are now. There is so much happiness, joy, vitality and productivity it's hard to believe only a year has passed.

But a year it has been, or will be, on the 30th. We are getting ready to celebrate Vaughn's first birthday with family on Saturday. And we have so much to celebrate! Things are good. Vaughn is amazing! Truly wise (he knows about this world), an amazing sense of humor for a 1 year old, so lighthearted and fun to be around and has a dimple filled smile that crushes the ladies already. So, I'll be a bit quiet here until next week as there is much to be done. His birthday crown is made but I have a handmade gift I want to complete which is a bit out of my comfort and skill zone so we'll see. Cross your fingers for me!

Until then, I just want to say thank you. Greg and I were talking about how much has changed for us over the past year. We don't want to saddle Vaughn with any of the circumstances that led up to and surrounded his birth but it's hard not to think of it as a marker for real change in our family. This blog has been a place for me to retreat and look at things through a positive eye during that time. Your comments and emails mean so very much and over the past year have brought me so much comfort and joy. The connections we make here, while at times surreal, are real and meaningful. Some of you were reading when we celebrated Vaughn's birth last year and some of you are new to this space (welcome!). I have had the chance to meet some of you in person over the past year and furthered some friendships by email and even snail mail! I deeply appreciate everything that writing this blog brings, including you! I wish I could have you all over for a slice of cake to celebrate with us!

So now, let the partying begin! See you next week!

oooxxx,

Spidey

{that smile stops me in my tracks no matter what!}

Comments

[Cirilia]

Your family is so beautiful I hate to think of you in any kind of tumult, but...I'm happy to know its possible to weather it so gracefully. A million kisses for Vaughn the baby heartthrob!

[keana]

I'm teary & I love you and that whole family up there in VT, I can't wait to hug them all some day! Happy Birthday Vaughn! You are the luckiest boy in the whole world!

[Katri]

Oh, congratulations! I have never commented before because I just have difficulty finding the time to do so, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog. My little girl turns one year old on the 17th of next month, so I relate a lot to the timing of your celebration. I look forward to hearing/seeing how you celebrate the occasion. Enjoy! And thanks for sharing your beautiful family with us!

[Amanda Cathleen]

happy Birthday V! Gosh what a cutie pie he is.

[Melissa]

What a handsome little guy he is! I always find it amazing that babies come even when life is not perfect, and although adding another person to the family can be stressful all in itself... it seems that they bring the level of chaos down a few notches. It's hard to not see the beauty in life when you are holding a miracle, a little piece of life straight from heaven. We just celebrated our second son's birthday last Saturday, amazing how quickly a year can disappear.

Happy Birthday Vaughn!

[Jane]

I'm so glad that you blog, Abi, and that it makes a difference in your life. Your stand-up-and-keep-going attitude shines like Vaughn's smile. Happy Birthday, Happy Year, Happy Everything!

[Leah]

Have a wonderful time celebrating that beautiful and smoochable boy. Raise a glass to a less stressful year! See you...next week?

[Tracy]

Happy 1st Birthday Vaughn. We have a first birthday coming up next week and the fun of it all brings tears to my eyes. The time seems to fly so fast.
Enjoy the celebration. And Thank You to you for the wonderful blog that brings such joy into my life by reading it.

[Pam from Kansas]

I have only discovered your blog a few months ago and have enjoyed reading it. You seem like such a happy family. Babies bring so much joy - just keep enjoying now and looking toward the future. Those dark days are in the past. My first grandchild just celebrated his 1st birthday this past weekend. His life has brought so much joy to the grandparents and his mom and dad who are also going through some tough financial times. But that smile makes you happy every day and a reason to get up. Happy Birthday to the boy!

[Mousy Brown]

Happy birthday wishes to your special boy - enjoy that party! :D

[Andrea]

Congratulation on making a wonderful life worth living! Happy days ahead...

[jess]

You aren't kidding about that smile - what a heartbreaker!

Glad you can look back and see how things have improved in the last year. I always enjoy visiting this space, so thank you!

[Renee]

Happy Birthday, Vaughn!
May all your family years be as wonderful as they are now and never to be like last again.
Hugs and love,
Renee

[Jen from Flint, Michigan]

Thanks for sharing. My little guy just turned one two weeks ago today and it is hard to believe a year has gone by. Hope you have a great celebration!

[Maike]

A very happy birthday, Vaughn!!
Oh my, he is so cute...I'm relatively new to this blog, but I am always so excited when you put up a new post (I hope you feel like a rockstar now *g*). I am happy that things changed from bad to so good for you! Thank you for sharing it with us, I always find that one can not only enjoy reading snippets out of others' lives, but can also learn a lot and find strength and hope.
Enjoy your celebrations, I hope you have wonderful sunshine and tons of cake! =)

[Kathy]

I have sensed the ebb and flow of emotions over the past 18 months... the blog silence during your illness that had me so worried... the (now I realize) depression that almost had you abandoning the blog... the joyess news of Vaughn's arrival... the wonderful pictures of the emerging family business... the AMAZING news of not one, but two Berrocco shoots... I have watched the optimism that has returned to your life has permeated your writing these past few months and it is heartening to read. Vaughn may coincidently mark a multitude of changes in your family, but I believe and hope that years from now, the marker will clearly be seen to be mostly of positive changes. Happy Birth Day celebration!

[lisa]

What a beautiful little guy! Looking into his eyes - what an OLD soul he is! Congratulations and Happy Birthday!

[karin]

OMG he looks so much like you. Wow.

I do hope to see you soon.

Sending hugs for everyone!!!!

[Rural Mamma]

A true beauty :) Thanks much for sharing! I had a tough time surrounding my second girls birth as well.. hers was a year and a half ago.. and we have some of the same feelings looking back as you share. Its hard to believe where a year or so can take a person and how much hope and change a new life can bring.. and turn around! Happy Birthday sweet boy!
xxo

[Paula]

Happy birthday to your sweet boy. I can't imagine having the appendicitis problem while pregnant! Makes him all the more special! We're unemployed now & it blows. I have a basket like the one with your knitting in it! It's called a hen basket or something. I got it in like the 70's when my Mom went to visit my sister in San Francisco! (she brought it back for me & I still have it...getting near to be an antique lol).

[K]

Happy Birth Anniversary to you, and happy birthday to Vaughn!

I really enjoy your blog and it's the only one I check as often as Jenna's blog.

Keep up the writing and the first-class living :)

[Acornbud]

How fast time goes by! And what a year it's been for you! Happy Birthday to that cute little guy. May he bring you even more joy in the the coming years!

[suna]

doesn't life just take such crazy twists and turns? somehow as humans we have the strength to survive them. happy b-day your littlest one. and may the next year bring you much joy.