{My brother and me circa 1997}
A post about The Cabin is long overdue. I mentioned it when I first started blogging, people asked me to talk more about it then and I didn't. I always felt badly about that. I never forgot. I doubt the people who asked even read this blog anymore, which is a shame, because after all these years I am ready to go back there.
You see the years I lived in the cabin were the best years of my life. I miss that time an awful lot and while I don't have one single regret about where I am right now, I do I allow myself to openly mourn the loss of that type of freedom. Now, let me be clear, I am not speaking about my husband or children here at all. While all of you know how your individuality must be compromised in many ways to be a wife and mother, I am not talking about that. During the time I spent in The Cabin I was completely free. I didn't owe a landlord, an electric company, a gas company, a water company, a cable company, or any company. There was no phone ringing, people could only mail letters to me and I rarely had drop in visitors (the cabin was hidden 1/2 mile down an old logging road deep in the woods). There was not one.single.drop of white noise. There was nothing but me and those woods. It was as powerful and as magical as it sounds and just writing about it here brings tears to my eyes. When I do talk about The Cabin people usually say, "I wish I could have done something like that." or "I've always wanted to do that." Believe me, I wish you could have to. And if there is any part of your heart that is still speaking something like that to you now I highly recommend you DO do it. Maybe you can't do it for a few years but if you do it for a few weeks, maybe even a month it will change your life forever.
{The interior of the Cabin set up for Summer}
The Cabin was made up of two tiny rooms, a mudroom and a kitchen, and this big/little great room. On either side of my bed were two huge picture windows looking out onto a pond on one side and the woods through the other. The pond is where I would get my water for cleaning myself and things around the cabin, it also saved my life once and The Cabin. My drinking water had to be hauled in, which I would do by filling up water cooler bottles at a spring or at the Barn where I worked. I ate what I had available, nothing was refrigerated, so unless I was cooking something right away I ate mostly non perishables. I tried my hand at a small garden but was quite terrible at it (and still am) but I knew my way around wild edibles which there were plenty of. The out house was quite a walk from the cabin, or at least it felt that way sometimes when I'd have to go out alone at night.
I had many systems for cleaning, bathing and cooking that I had down to a science. Some people are really curious about those things and if you are please say so in the comments. Maybe I can do a separate post about how you do simple things like brush your teeth, shave your legs and wash your hair when you don't have a drop of running water in sight! My drive down to the cabin on that long logging road was transporting but also incredibly treacherous and hairy during winter months. Often times I'd have to abandon my car and walk in with a sled pulling any provisions I may have been picking up. I had an ax, a gun and a dog that made me feel more secure, because there were times when I felt pretty vulnerable as a woman living alone so remotely.
There was a gray squirrel and a red squirrel (that I named Bart and Julip) who woke me up every morning by jumping up on the picture window to ask for their share of oats, there was a red tailed hawk who was always on the bridge to the cabin and would stay there as I walked by him just mere inches away each time I came and went, there was a snake who shared my lunch hour sitting on the same warm rock, a blue heron who came every evening at the same time for dinner, the turtle who would come out of hiding when I launched the small row boat to take a journey around the pond and many, many other creatures who let me live so closely and so harmoniously with them it's almost out of a fairy tale. I could count on all of these things happening. When one of them didn't I was usually left with a great emptiness in my heart.
The summers were hot and the winters were hotter. You'd think it would be cold but that little wood stove cranked out a lot of heat and often times it would get a bit stifling in there. Mornings were the best and the nights scared me. I wasn't living off the land there but I was living with it so I never wanted to leave but I couldn't always stay. Only the bravest of my friends and family would stay the night. One fall I suffered a terrible hand injury so serious I needed micro surgery and was in ICU for a week but I still had to feed the fire and use an axe with one hand. There were men that would help sometimes.
I kept a journal of my time there and even though I have the guts to do all of the things I mentioned above and many other things I haven't mentioned I just don't have the guts to read that journal yet. I thank The-Spirit-in-all-Things that I didn't have a blog during that time because surely my experience could never have been as pure.
{My Summer 'Shower': A Real Luxury!}
There is really so much to say but it's an overwhelming amount of experiences and I don't know how much to really share. I don't feel the need to share but I'd love to share. So I think this post gives a bit of a glimpse into The Cabin, or at least a barrage of information! I'd like to tell you more about who I was before I lived there and how I ended up there so I'll share more in another post. If there is anything you are particularly curious about please just leave a comment and I'll address it.
Thanks again, so much, to Amy for opening up this door to my past I may have otherwise left shut.
